Online Dating 101 - For Men

If you have been single for any extended time period, then you are probably no stranger to the online dating scene.  I myself have been playing this game for years now, and the only thing I have to show for it is this.  

 This is my attempt to give "pointers" to men searching for "the one" using any kind of online profile.  This guide will hopefully help point out profile flaws, and help you boost your online efforts for success.

 Your profile on any dating site is like a first impression.  It says a lot about you before you engage in any kind of interaction with a potential.  If you are going to take the time to make an online dating profile (some are very involved and time consuming), then take the time to do it right.  Fill out all the information HONESTLY.  If I am searching profiles, I am looking for certain criteria in a date.  I want to know this BEFORE I contact someone I might be interested in.  I want to know how tall they are (I don't like shorter men then me), I definitely want to know their race, age, what they like (we have to have some common ground), etc.

You need to figure out what it is you are out to gain.  Most online dating sights have options as to what it is you are looking for.  Dating, Long Term, etc.  And be honest!  If you are only looking for a "Hook Up" then put that you are looking for JUST that.  We all have life goals. Sometimes we are only looking for someone to hang out with and maybe be a companion, and then some of us are out there looking for our soul mate.  

 Your "About Me" section.  I can't tell you how many profiles I passed up because they had nothing to say in their "About Me".  I don't expect a life story, but something... and if you actually READ a profile, and the grammar is 3rd grade or they type like they talk, total turn off.  If someone can't spell, there is spell check, use it.  I don't expect everybody to go out for a 4th grade spelling bee, but I would hope they would at least know how to use spell check.

 Now we come to a critical part of an online dating profile... PHOTOS!  Not everyone wants to put their picture out there on the web.  Well, if that is the case, then you shouldn't be on an online dating site.  I myself pass by profiles with no photos.  I want to know what this person looks like, because if his photo creeps me out, I am not even going to bother engaging in any kind of communication!  A picture on an online dating site says a million words!  That photo is going to tell me several things... 

  • What that person looks like 
  • In some cases - personality (If the person in the photo looks like they are having a good time, happy, smiling, laughing, then they probably have an outgoing attitude.  At the same point, if that person in the photo has a hard face with no smile and has mean looking eyes, well, they have probably had a hard life and have no clue how to be happy.  And the one that irks me the most... when I see someone who is holding a beer in every picture!  That tells ME that you are an alcoholic.  That might be fine if you are being hunted by a bar fly.
  • Lifestyle - I see hunting pics, racing pics, pics with kids, elderly, etc.  These tell me what you are into.  
Do NOT put a picture of your dog as your main profile picture.  If your dog is cuter than you are, well, I am not out to date the dog, and am most likely going to pass you by. When I am searching a dating site, I want to see YOU, not your dog, car or kids.  If I am interested in you, then yes, eventually that stuff will happen, but if we don't make it past the profile, then well, none of that other stuff will ever even matter.

Contact - now this kind of goes both ways, whether you make first contact (which is usually going to be the case) or she does.  If someone contacts me first... first thing I am going to do, is visit your profile.... if I LIKE your profile, then I will read the message that you sent.  If all you say is "Hi" or something quite common, well, you are going to get a "Hi" back.  And normally, those messages/conversations die rather quickly.  If you are going to engage in conversation off the bat (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS) be sure to READ HER PROFILE FIRST!!!!  I can't stress this enough.... how much time did you take to create your profile?  I can assure you she spent more time creating hers.  I personally have a very extensive profile.  There are some bases I want to cover BEFORE someone wastes my time, or I waste theirs.  I can tell when someone has read my profile.  It is quite obvious in their initial contact.  And honestly, it is THAT guy whom I am going to give my attention to.  THAT guy who took the time to read it and respond as though he were interested.  

Message response - when the inbox shows you have a new message... that twang of excitement jumps up and says WOOT!  Till you open the message and the reply is either rejection (if you are lucky) or the start of a conversation that just keeps going on as conversation.  Why?  Because some people take that ONLINE DATING thing to the extreme.  I am on here to find a DATE!  Like... out of the box, away from the house kind of date!  I don't want to keep emailing/texting/talking on the phone, I want to meet this person, talk in person - face to face, I want to DO things with this person.  If you are too busy to have a relationship, then well, you might be too busy for an online dating profile.  Or SAY that IN your profile.  I have times when I am a bit busy, or it always seems like someone wants to meet on a night I just can't.  You have to be flexible, open minded and very patient with this dating thing.

LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION - when scoping profiles... check the location of the person that might interest you.  If you are not willing to travel the distance that she is away from you, do NOT initiate conversation!   I have a radius of 25 miles, and that is in the summer months when I don't mind driving.  If you are not within 5-10 minutes from me, and you don't want to travel the HOUR it is going to take you to get to me, then don't bother. That is why it is there on the profile.... doesn't matter HOW compatible someone seems to you, if you never get to see them (distance, time, whatever), there is no point.   Also keep in mind, what if this becomes more than a first date?  What if?  Are you willing to move?  Relocate?  Travel?  

I really hope that this will help in the online dating process.  It may sound as though you are creating a Sales Ad, but if you think about it ... you are!  You are selling YOURSELF to someone who may be looking to buy you.  After all, if you were selling your car on Craigslist, what would you say to get someone to buy that car?  Really is no different.

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