My Heart and Soul


It's been 3 years.  I remember the day we met, the day I brought you home, every single day of your short 6 years and I relive the day you died every single day of the remainder of my life.  This is the first I have written about you, maybe this will help, maybe it won't, but here I am.

I spent my entire life waiting on you.  I had your name chosen for 20+ years.  I knew the life I would have once you arrived.  I dedicated every moment, breath, action, emotion, and just life to you.  You were my heart, my soul, the true love of my life, nothing or nobody will ever take that spot.  It is yours for as long as I breathe and ever after.

Johan Sebastian Bach.  A nobel name for a nobel dog.  I have had many dogs in my life, but none were truly MY dog.  They had attachments to others in some way or another.  I wanted that ONE dog that was mine, that ONE dog that made me whole.  People don't always understand that connection to a dog, but I have always understood it and longed for that connection.  

I was never able to have a dog of my own.  I was always under the thumb of others more authorative in my life.  People who were not dog people, parents mostly, living situations, etc.  So when the opportunity arose I jumped on it without hesitation.  I called around and inquired to anyone and everyone about breeders with puppies with my criteria.  My criteria was simple.  A male black and tan shepherd.  I found a breeder with ONE male black and tan pup.... I went to meet you, I put a down payment on you and waiting, prepared, arranged, and then... the day came when I could bring you home.  And from that day forward, my life, my center, my focus... was you.  Then, just like that... you were gone.  Cancer took you from me.  Six short years.  Although I was blessed with more adventures and memories, pictures, videos, laughs and love than I have ever been blessed with in my life.... my life is forever changed. 

There is an emptiness, a sadness, a numb spot that nobody or anything can ever fill.  When you died, I died.  I love you my boy, before you were mine I loved you and with every breath I take I love you.  I know you will be waiting when it's my time and sometimes, that time can't come soon enough.



 

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